If I die and someone makes an RIP event/page on Facebook, I don’t want to see:

• ‘I didn’t know him but I really think I’ve got to know him through these posts since he died’
  If you didn’t know me, don’t fucking comment.
• Any bad grammer
  I’m dead, show your respect by showing understanding of the English language.
• I don’t even want abbreviated ‘text speak’
  If you use it, you look insincere. This is a fact.
• Anyone trying to cover up how I died
  I’m sure this point is debateable among different people, but for me personally, if I comitted suicide, say it. Don’t use wishy-washy words to that effect - just outright say it. Also, if I was run over by a bus, I’d hate to see you miss out on all the rhyming memorial possibilites.
• ‘I hope the scum that stabbed him dies’
  Even if somebody else took my life, you never, EVER wish death upon another human being.
• Bible verses
  Yeah, talking to you, Mum.
• A Youtube RIP video dedicated to me - with a shit song playing in the background
  Okay, if someone wants to make a video, okay, fair enough. I don’t mind - I’m dead. Not my thing, but I don’t object. But PLEASE do not use a song I’d dislike, just because you like it. I make my music taste very clear - if you can’t figure out a song I like, you don’t know me well enough to make the video.
• People I barely know acting like we were best friends all our life
  Wasn’t there something like that in the first Princess Diaries movie? Well, not with death, but still. Don’t do it.
• A lack of humour
  Don’t take the piss out of me, but if I die in a funny way, go for it. And remember the funny moments from my life. No need to be so morbid about death.
• Excessive exclamation marks, or kisses
  Looks insincere. Also, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx always reminds me of barbed wire more than anything affectionate.

Okay I think that’s it.